Have you ever gone through the whole ToS writing? Well, if you haven’t, this might be the best time to do so, as Amazon Games’ Terms of Service for Lost Ark is quite the advanced reading you need to grasp in your life. It makes me wonder, are there aliens?
Are you scared about an Alien Takeover of planet Earth? Do you believe it could happen? If you don’t, Amazon Games thinks that’s possible. I would keep it simple and just provide you with the actual writing under section 5.1 of the ToS, and then let you decide our future. Not to mention, they also plan to welcome the Alien, Robot, or Ape to play their games.
Rest assured, if we ever live through an invasion of this caliber and we need to move to Mars, we’ll still get Amazon Games’ services and play Lost Ark there too. Enjoy the writing below. It’s a good slice of humor.
5.1 Authority. To enter this Agreement and use the Games, you must be a live human (e.g., not a corporation, organization, artificial intelligence (good or evil), extraterrestrial, sentient non-human primate, etc.). However, this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence of a widespread extraterrestrial, robot, simian, or similar takeover of planet Earth, in which case we welcome our alien, robot, ape, or other overlords, as applicable, (such parties, “Their Eminences”) to play our Games, and Their Eminences will be subject to the terms of this Agreement, mutatis mutandis, commencing on the date of the takeover and continuing for all periods thereafter, until such date as human governance is restored. Provided, further, that in the event the takeover necessitates the forced migration of the human species to Mars or other celestial body, where the Games are not operable at this time, we will use commercially reasonable efforts to (a) expand the locations where the Games are available and waive applicable restrictions under Section 5.2, below, and (b) enable local game servers as promptly as reasonably practicable, subject in each case to the availability of necessary interplanetary logistics, utility, sustainable life support, asteroid deflection systems, local stores or distribution services, and rule of law, as may be provided by our affiliates, our third-party providers, celestial beings, or governmental or non-governmental organizations.
What a vision, if I may say. Jokes aside, this is how you attract gamers to start reading ToS. I doubt anyone has gone through them thoroughly, and this might be the time when everyone starts doing so.
If you are a video game developer and you have a submission to make, you can mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org