Guild Wars 2 has received a new update, and this one, like many other games today, is related to April’s Fools. So, the day brings its news, and we have to relay it so that everyone knows. Below you can find the April Fools patch notes for 2024.

04/04/2024-April Fools 2024

Heights of Glory

With pretty much every secret unobscured, the commander finds themselves facing a tall new order. Even if they defeat the nefarious forces at Tyria’s doorstep*, have they made their own grim bargain with higher forces looming above in the process? A long-overdue reckoning begins when Tyria’s loftiest hero receives a mysterious letter. Could a heretofore overlooked asuran professor really have uncovered the truth of those events two years ago?

Stand tall and shake the higherarchy of Tyria in the Heights of Glory weekly experience, starting now and extending until April 9 at noon.

General

• Removed all gathering nodes from Tyria for polishing.
• Diessa Plateau: Fixed an issue that caused NPC dialogue and event text around the village of Butcher’s Block in Diessa Plateau to refer to nearby activities as “meata-events.”
• Options for the character-select background have been expanded. Players may now choose from all future character-select backgrounds, as well as current and previous backgrounds.
• Added hint text to clarify that Guild Wars 2: End of Dragons should not impact dragon-like creatures such as wyverns.
• Players can now block NPCs who send them unwanted whisper messages.
• Rewards from roller beetle racing events have been decreased to fund repairs to streetlamps and other objects damaged by racers.
• Updated the name of Duchess Chrysthansisa  Chrysthsehe  Chrysthansysthea  Masked Duchess C during the Fashion Wars meta-event.

Raids n’ Strikes

• Lowered the rate at which achievements and items are awarded after an encounter is complete to allow for a more leisurely appreciation of each player’s individual rewards.
• Fixed an issue that could prevent Cerus from entering the talent demonstration phase of the encounter after his health is reduced to 1% in the Temple of Febe Strike Mission challenge mode.
• Updated instrument assignment during Cerus’s talent demonstration phase to be randomized, rather than based on players’ distance from Cerus when the phase initiated.
• To reduce the impact of start-up times for condition damage-based characters, all boon effects remaining on a raid boss when it is defeated will be transferred to the next boss in the map, if any remain.

Personal Story

• Characters speaking in languages that the player character has not yet learned (Canthan, Kryptis, choya, etc.) will now be subtitled or dubbed in your selected localized language to add immersion.
• Certain personal story instances have been rewritten and recorded as operatic performances.

Items

• Jade bots can now be remotely paired with compatible devices after installing the latest firmware update.
• Master chef trainers now offer recipes that incorporate Nayosian cabbages.
• Unused food items in player inventories will now have a chance per item to attract various animals.
• Walnuts in bulk have been added to various existing recipes as a required component.

Profession Skills

Elemen-tall-ist

• The Large Hydra Collider Krewe has announced that a new element has been discovered and can be attuned to: Fermmium.
• Deploy Jade Sphere: This skill is now categorized as a well.
• Unravel: This skill can now be used on bolts of cloth to convert them into scraps.

Engineer

• Grenade Kit: This skill has been reworked and is now named Nayosian Cabbage Kit.
• Turrets can now be named.
• Several engineer skills will now add leftover screws and bolts to the inventory when used.
  • Those probably weren’t important.
  • We probably just gave you a few extra ones in case you dropped some.

Guardian

• The dragonhunter elite specialization, having fulfilled a lifelong oath following the final update for Guild Wars 2: End of Dragons, has retired to a well-deserved slow life tending the old family farm.
• Symbols are now categorized as wells.
• “Hold the Line!”: This skill now has 50% increased effectiveness when used in combination with Line of Warding.

Mesmer

Virtuoso

• Chaotic Persistence: This trait is unchanged.
• Illusions can now name themselves.
• Chronomancer wells are now categorized as wells.

Necromancer

• “Rise!”: Reduced the target cap from 1 to 0.9 (repeating).
• After saving Tyria at least seven times, social disapproval of the necromancer profession has been reduced in PvE and WvW.
• “You Are All Weaklings!”: This skill has been renamed “Ur Weak!” to better match its casting time.

Revenant

• The herald elite specialization is now categorized as a well.
• Impossible Odds: This skill is now named Improbable Odds.

Ranger

Soulbeast

• Increased longbow range to 2,000 if the winds are favorable.
• Soulbeasts’ pets can now form and represent their own guilds.

Thief

• Stealth: To reduce visual overlap with Steal, combat the increasing availability of stealth applied by other professions, and add new verbs to stealth gameplay, stealth has been significantly reworked:
  • The stealth effect has been renamed and is now the obscured effect.
  • Applying stealth as a thief is now a new gameplay verb: “secret.”
• Well of Bounty: In addition to its current effects, this skill now increases gold find for allies within range.
• Lowered the number of thieves in PvP only.

Warrior

• Fixed an issue that prevented some bladesworn projectiles from manifesting their blue sword-spirit.
• Banner skills are now categorized as heraldic.

World vs. World

• Added additional purple, yellow, and silver team options.
• Map population caps have been temporarily removed to reduce server load.
• The alleged discovery of a dragon in the Mists has brought the dragonhunter elite specialization out of retirement for one last job.